Monday, January 25, 2010

The Ultimate Price

I left out some very pertinent information when talking about Chance's phone.

And, I can't believe I forgot.

Because it was the straw that broke the negotiation camel's back.

When Matt and I were both feeling the first pangs of inevitability, Matt took action, and threw some pork into the equation. I'm tellin' ya, the man should be a politician. Because, said pork had NOTHING to do with the situation at hand, but got us something we'd been wanting for awhile.

A well-kept kid.

The actual wording of said addendum to Messer House Bill #446?

As long as your hair is cut respectably (side note: as determined by DAD), you can use the phone that we let you purchase with your own money.

BRILLIANT! Did you see how he fit in every qualification for pork?

Had nothing to do with the original bill.

Benefited us and not him.

Actual measurement of said addendum sketchy at best, subject to mood swings and fuzzy math of the author at worst.


PS - I think you look really handsome, Chance.


Neighbor Jane Payne said...

BUT I WANT TO HATE PORK in bills forever and this particular pork makes so much sense.

Very, very, very smart....and clever.

Susan said...

Oh... Good thinking. I wouldn't have thought of adding in that Pork. Nice Job.

And I think he looks very handsome too!

Anonymous said...

My fellow parents (smile welcomingly). A long time ago I promised change and bold action. Today I have delivered on the first of many, not promises, but obligations. (pause for effect) Not empty rhetoric, but a plan of action. (pause for effect) Today my friends, we have taken the first step down the long and windy road to well raised men. (pause, look right, then left) Today the battle has begun, not a battle of arms, but a battle of trends. (look smart and determined) The battle began today, (say ‘today’ dramatically) not with a shot heard around the world, but with a snip heard at a barbershop somewhere on Americas main street. (try really hard to look confident) This is not my battle, no, this is a battle we all share. (look at Heather, smile and gesture) Together, not only will we raise men of integrity, courage, and strength; but men who are well groomed. Yes today the era of long hair and wasteful use of grooming products ends, it ends with me, and it ends now! (great line so smile confidently). Let it be said I was not afraid to make the hard decisions, No, not me, not now! (firmly thump podium but not to hard as to look overly confident or angry). Let it be said I was willing to impose my will, not by trickery or back room deals, but by shear bribery and the willingness to capitalize on my sons need to get connected. (Smile, wave, run)