Dear Mr. Murphy-
#1. I hate your law.
#2. I had lots better things to do today than clean up after the washing machine went T.U. and flooded the laundry room and the bathroom.
#3. I knew you'd get us as soon as we got a new t.v.
#4. The corner behind the washing machine hasn't been cleaned in a REALLY long time - I guess I can thank you for that. Maybe.
#5. Please visit someone else's house for the remainder of the holiday season - we've got other plans.