Based on my good friend Darla's account, I'm going to tell you "the rest of the story".
It started a couple weeks ago, with Matt coming in the house and saying - hey, do you know your tabs are expired? Are they really, or did you just forget to put the stickers on?
Well, the stickers are nowhere to be found, so I'm not really sure one way or the other.
I make a mental note to get on the DOL website and check.
If you saw my spring calendar, you would know why mental notes no longer stick.
Episode quickly forgotten.
Darla and I went to lunch with our boss, then stopped in at the scrapbook store in town - which we thought was closing but now isn't closing - so it was a really good little break in our day.
Until we hit 5 corners.
I see a police car behind me. He is actually studying my car. Then I see him grab his radio.
I tell Darla - we're about to get pulled over.
I think my tabs may be expired (note my continued optimism).
Sure enough, lights come on, and we pull over right across from Safeway.
He asks for my license, registration, and insurance. Thanks to my handy new wallet (thanks Darla), my license was easy to locate. My insurance card was in my little visor compartment that's supposed to hold all the important car info. Alas, no registration.
I ask Darla to look in the glove compartment on the passenger side.
If she can stop laughing long enough to open the latch.
She digs a bit and pulls one out. It says 2007 on the top. "Oh no," I say, "that's an old one. Keep digging."
At this point, the kind officer chimes in - "No, ma'am. I think that's probably the one. That's the reason I pulled you over. Your tabs are expired since September of 2008."
Well, I knew it was bad, but believe me, I didn't know it was THAT bad!
He leaves with all his loot, back to his radio to run many checks on my car, my license, my family, my friends, my dog, and of course, Darla - at least, that's how long it felt like it took while we sat there, most conspicuously, on the side of the road.
I may or may not have uttered a couple of swear words from the moment he pulled me over until now. I'm not completely sure, and Darla's account, showing much grace and mercy, leaves them out. Thank you, my friend.
Anyway, the very thorough officer comes back to the car with some great news. Well, it's great in the grand scheme of this traffic stop, anyway.
"Ma'am, your tabs are actually current. You have purchased them, you just forgot to put the new sticker on."
Insert here, me stammering some unintelligent sort of apology.
"I would suggest you check your counter at home, or maybe any baskets you may have where you might store things. I find usually people just forget to put them in the car. If you don't find it, you'll need to go to the DOL and pay for a replacement set. But, really, my advice is to check your counters before you go and spend the money."
Thank you, sir. Yes, yes, have a good day. Yes, certainly I'll have this taken care of right away. Thank you, sir.
I'm now on autopilot. I'm in a stupor of disbelief.
He turns off his lights, and I drive away.
DOES HE REALLY THINK I HAVEN'T CLEANED MY COUNTER SINCE SEPTEMBER OF 2008?!!!!!!!!!
Darla's still laughing.
Be quiet, Matt.