Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Because I'm Always Learning

What better way to forgo "real" writing, and fall back on the handy list format, than to turn it into a list of things you've learned? Then, instead of lazy, you just look like one of those lifelong learner kind of people. So, without furether ado, I give you:

Things I Learned on my Mexico Vacation
  1. 4:00 am is very, very early. Especially when you stayed up late to finish packing the night before.
  2. The east side of our state is so much easier to fly out of than the west side.
  3. The flying fairy was somehow on our side this trip - filling all three seats in our aisle only during one stretch out of four.
  4. Most people in our group sat beside various stages of repulsion on the first flight - from smell to drunkenness to just plain weird. After our conversations during the first layover, I was glad we only got just plain weird.
  5. Mexican customs was almost unbearably long, but surprisingly simple once you were to the front of the line. I don't think they care what you bring in.
  6. Traffic laws, signals, and imaginary lane lines are mere suggestions in Mexico. Especially if you are a taxi, van, or bus driver.
  7. There are many more recognizable names (PTL - Starbucks!) than I expected.
  8. Everyone in Mexico conveniently either has what you are looking to buy, or has a very good friend who has what you are looking to buy.
  9. "Today, for you, I make special deal."
  10. The stark disparity between the "haves" and the "have nots" is only moments outside of town, if you care to look.
  11. I would recommend the dune buggies every time.
  12. If you value your camera and even your video camera, I would recommend driving with a senior citizen who is not secretly racing his friend in the buggy in front of you.
  13. Admittedly, you get better souvenir photos with the Nascar wannabes than with Miss Daisy's driver.
  14. If you are bringing your video camera because you were asked to film the wedding, which is actually the main reason for the trip, then you probably shouldn't take your video camera on a dune buggy that morning with the Nascar wannabe.
  15. But, if you take out the memory card, battery, and open all possible doors, then lay it in the hot Mexican sun to dry, it will recover just in time for you to fulfill your previously stated obligations.
  16. The still camera will still work, but many pictures will be curiously "watermarked".
  17. The Puerto Vallarta ocean is in the mid-70's.
  18. 20 degrees makes a world of difference in the ocean fun factor.
  19. I am a terrible barterer.
  20. This makes the marketplace in Mexico a very stressful place for me.
  21. Give me a mall and a price tag (with a clearly marked sale price) any day of the week.
  22. Mexico weddings are beautiful and gorgeous.
  23. So are my brother and his new wife.
  24. Mexican time is a real and true phenomenon.
  25. It takes about 1 day to get used to it.
  26. It will take about 1 week to get to work on time when you get back.
  27. All-inclusive is the way to go.
  28. No food or drink related stress - just which kind of meat to get at the taco bar. What a welcome change.
  29. While walking on the iguana path, if you jump and scream "Oh, shoot!" (or something), the iguanas will go into hiding, and punish you for your outburst. You then need to will yourself to walk very quietly down the rest of the path to enjoy more iguanas that were probably beyond hearing your first outburst.
  30. It will be worth the quiet walking.
  31. Spiders in Mexico are very big.
  32. And scary.
  33. You can make all the detailed lists you want, but your son will inevitably get sick somewhere that the list is unavailable at the time.
  34. It will break your heart that you are not home.
  35. Your mother-in-law will handle the situation beautifully (thanks, Verna) and give him all the love you wish you could do in person.
  36. It will be forgotten in the mayhem of the gifts and prizes by the time you get home.
  37. You will have your to-do list back up to about 20 items by the time you board your plane to come home.
  38. It will seem overwhelming.
  39. So, you will apply the Mexican time theory to attempt to prolong your vacation.
  40. The list will not go away.
  41. So, you will make another, much more entertaining list on your blog to further avoid impending doom.
  42. It will make you wish you were still in Mexico.


Anita said...

Oh dear, Heather, you are just hilarious! I'm afraid you are going to have to stop pretending you're still in Mexico and actually come back down to earth! It sounds like you had fun, even though somehow your cameras took some sort of bath!


Miller Family said...

Oh Heather. I wish I could have been in Mexico vacationing with you. The "today for you, I make a special deal" is sooo true. Everywhere you go. Glad you had a wonderful time and made it back to our cold weather. Sorry to hear your son got sick. That is always a worry when you leave home. Welcome Back to reality!

Neighbor Jane Payne said...

Bravo! A list is welcome anytime on your blog. I loved it.

With your skilz, a wet camera is no problem-o.

Susan said...

The was the perfect list. I can say that I know, pretty much, what happened on your trip, and that you made it back in one piece, if not overwhelmed. Welcome back to real life!

Emily said...

I'm glad that your experience with customs was fairly uneventful. When we went Nancy accidently checked gun instead of vegetable. Custom agents pointing machine guns at you are pretty scary especially when you are trying to explain that you don't have a gun, just a ginger root.