Wednesday, February 20, 2008

You Move Your Chin to Focus????

Wow, what a day today was. Had I known what I was getting into when I rolled out of bed, I may have worn more protective clothing.

Darla and I had to go to town at lunchtime. We had lots of stuff to do for the office, and of course, had to find some lunch while we were in town. She offered to drive, since she has a loaner car (hers is in the shop), and we might as well put the miles on that.

Now, I will say that on the way into town, she didn't even send one text message while driving - either the new law has made her more conservative, or she's tired of hearing me flip her crap. So, we were safe-as-can-be on the way into town . . . . or so I thought.

We ran many errands. And, in the midst of them, she gets a call that her new bifocals are in at the eye doctor. In the name of brevity, we will not talk about how old you have to be to wear bifocals - I'll let you go there on your own.

We decided to pick them up on our last stop, so she can try out her new "eyes". She almost fell down on the way out of the eye doctor, but I thought she was joking - until she started to drive. Here's some excerpts from our drive back to the office:

"Okay, move your chin to focus."
(I let this one go - thought she was just talking to herself to get used to the new specs)

"Right turn only. Can you see that says 'Right Turn Only'? It was always too small before."

"Wow - I can see the speedometer, and then look up and still see the road!"

"Ice cream cakes - DQ has ice cream cakes!"

"Dentistry?? Did you know that was a dentist office right there? How long has that been a dentist office?"

"If I tilt my head, I can make things look reallllly long. But blurry."

"This should make texting and driving much easier. I'll be able to focus on the letters when I look down, and still see the road when I look up."

Yes - I was talking to my Lord this whole time. Not prayers of safety - I knew we were safer now than we had been in her car in the last 6 months!! No, I was praying prayers of thankfulness - that we made it into town today, that we made it into town and back the last 36 times I've ridden with her. That she hasn't wrecked during the blurry "re-focus" period of going from the text message back to the road. We serve an awesome God!

Right turn only, huh?

PS - They look fabulous on her.


Susan said...

Very, very funny! I can hardly wait to see what Darla has to say about them!

Neighbor Jane Payne said...

Oh Heather, THIS is funny. Very, very funny. I love it when you catch dialogue and post it. You're really good at picking out the funny stuff and hanging on to it.

How old did you say you have to be to have bifocals?!

Darla said...

Okay in DEFENSE to myself *lol*
I can see MUCH BETTER *lol*...
I was so giddy... it was like when your 5 yr old realizes he can read the signs "Burger King .. "Arby's".. I was like a 5 yr old.. I even told Heather.. The sage brush looks so crisp. I didn't realize how much I was squinting to get a clear view *lol*... And yes my computer screen would go longated if I turned my head just the right way... *lol*.. Okay I admit it I"M GETTING OLD!!! But Heather.. it won't be long & you will be right behind me *lol*...

P.S. My glasses are much prettier than those she posted *lol*

Tracy said...

You guys just crack me up!!!